


HP Daddy

by Moskovie



Series: Fricky Frack it's Crack [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (I made them up (c), Bad uses for body pillows, Bad uses for wands, Crack, Eren has issues, Eren's obsession with Harry Potter, HP Baby Series, Harry Potter pickup-lines, Levi feels replaced, M/M, More Bullshit, The Harry Potters, Threesome, their love is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 01:56:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9268586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moskovie/pseuds/Moskovie
Summary: This is hte part of the Series: HP Baby under Crack Fics, and I want to kill myself.Levi feels replaced by Eren's body pillow Harry. So he takes measures.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CreativeDestruction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativeDestruction/gifts), [GayTra2h](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayTra2h/gifts).



> I have people asking me for a second one, so I whipped up this shit and for some reason I never regret it. But whatever. 
> 
> But without further ado; 
> 
> HP Daddy:

Hp Daddy:

The obsession had never faded, Eren still loved HArry more than ever, but Levi was not going to give up, he was going to replace Eren’s love for Harry Potter if it was the last thing he did. He would do anything, even deepthroat a magic harry wand for ten bucks and have Eren watch, yes, Levi must do everything he can. 

The day started out like any other, Eren kissed HArry and they had their morning sexy-time, this was always optional for a normal day. Sometimes when Harry was feeling sexy in the morning he and Eren would get it on, but some days Eren pretended that Harry made pancakes for him and slapped his ass. 

Unfortunately for Levi, he has been replaced by Harry Potter, Eren’s therapist (Hanji, as if she wasn’t useless enough already) had said that things like this pass. But Levi was still heartbroken. 

“Eren, if u don’t luv me anymore than say so, say you love Harry more than me.”

“Oh HARRY I love yous. Always. XD.”

Ex-dee was something Eren had taken to saying. Levi was needless to say worried af. 

“Eren. u need to get over this shit.”

“Ugh, Stupid Leevi, Harry isn’t shit, HArry loves me. AUAGH HP BaBYY.”

Eren moaned into his pancakes. Then proceeded to have the body pillow slap his ass once more. 

“Eren I’m going to deepthroat a wand.”

“OH HARRY, I love u so much.”

“What the actual fucc?”

“I want this Harry to be my bride, omg HArry marry me.!”

Eren made out with Harry, Levi needed to do something better. So he went online. Of course using Eren’s custom Wiz-Web. The speed of it definitely made you want to wiz ur web. 

After about a week since Levi was on EBabe. (An adult store directly based off of Ebay) he put on the Harry merch, that he new would make Eren want him.

From the Gryffindor striped thigh high socks to the crest crock-top, Levi would surely make Eren’s cock drop. *Whoop Le Snap* Not to mention the honorific HP baby style glasses. 

“The things I do for love.” Levi thought as he licked the special HP wand. 

Eren walked in a minute later with Happy pPotter in his ass. 

“OH MY DUMBLEDOORS have fallen!!!” Eren yelled as Levi stuck a leg in the air. 

“Take me HP Daddy. *le squirty emoji* wink” Levi said. 

Harry proceeded to take Eren’s ass as Eren took Levi. And let me tell u the whole situation needed therapy. 

Hanji took pictures from the window as two grown men humped like magic wildebeests and HArry the mother fuccing body pillow rode on top of the two. 

Harry reached his orgasm first and yelled. “IM JUST A NIGGA WITH A ROCKET LAUCHER. I AM A NIGGA WITH A ROCKET LAUCHING!!!”

Eren yelled, “HP BABY, AND HP DADDY. I AM AN HP BADDY, AGH, SLUG MY HORNO VOLDEMORRT. AUGH!”

Levi said in his sexiest voice, “Thank you for letting me climb into your chamber of secrets. I love being your sorcerer's stone. I want u to succ my goblet of fire. You can order this phoenix, hAlf blood prince, more like half done prince. I will Deathly Hallow u out. Luna lovethis. Ronald Weasel in me, Oh Harry. Albus DumbleADOREme, I want to be the Dobby to your Succ. . .”

It took all Levi had to make this man love him. And he did it with style. 

Soon the easy bake oven was done. 

Harry slapped Eren’s ass one more time. And Eren screamed “EXPECTO PATRONUM.” and then came. And Levi was feeling like the Harry Potters.

**Author's Note:**

> SHoot me.  
> Or yell at me or give me stupid pick-up lines at my tumblr, I am a lonely asshole. And I don't know how to make hyperlinks. *Sometimes, I cry*  
> http://baguettee-boi.tumblr.com/


End file.
